He’s that feeling in your chest when you miss someone, that feeling that is so strong, it becomes physical pain. That ache that you can’t help but know, you’d rather live with it everyday and know him, than live without him. He’s that one nagging idea in the back of your head, that even at times when hurt is all you feel, its still better than not feeling at all. He’s the one thing that makes you wonder if you can’t get someone off your mind, then maybe they’re just meant to be there. Your friends understand when you say just forget it, wait forever when you say wait a minute, step away when you say leave me alone and open the door before you can say come in. But he, he’s different, he makes you face your fears when you’re too scared to think straight, he has already done it before you can say wait a minute, he sticks to you like glue when you say leave me alone, and he’s knocked that door down along time ago. Yes, go ahead, tell us we’re too young to understand what love is, tell us we’ll only end up getting hurt. But I’ll tell you, its worth it, its worth despite the many pain and tears it may cause, because I know, that even if I knew my heart would break, I would love him anyway. So when you’ve walked a mile in my shoes, when you’ve felt his arms holding you up when its too much, when you’ve let his smile brighten up your day, then tell me im too young to be in love.
At times, with him its like close is too close, but then again, sometimes that’s all we need. All you really need is someone to step too close, to give that feeling of uncontrollable butterflies in the pit of your stomach, and yes, it may be uncontrollable and yes, it may happen at the worst times possible, yet its still not a unpleasant feeling. It’s a feeling that one wouldn’t mind lasting forever. And you know these butterflies can do strange things to you, before long you realize that you’ve started listening to love songs, all of a sudden you start smiling, and it seems there is no reason for it, then you realize, its because you r thinking of him. People ask you what’s so special about him and you don’t want to tell them because you’re scared that they might fall as well. You need someone who is willing to be patient and understanding, and that’s what he was to me, he was my best friend, to be there when I needed and wanted nothing more than a friend that night, knowing that they are there, 24/7 willing to pick up the phone and listen if it will make you feel better. Its almost like being close to them isn’t enough, its like if you could you would live in the same skin as them, as one because they are everything to you. It is that feeling of being with someone who accepts you and you accept something no one else will have them for. Seeing them for who they are and being proud of them regardless of what the rest of the world may think but still wonder how they don’t fall for him to, how they don’t see him exactly like you do and how anyone can resist his smile.
I built up a wall around me before I met him, it surrounded me , kept me safe from falling for anyone, then he came into my life, and bit by bit, he took that wall down, he didn’t just knock it down, he was patient, and he stood by me, and brick by brick he took that wall down. I wanted to tell him to stop because it didn’t matter, every time he touched me that wall just crumbled around me, that’s why I held onto him so tight, my hands clenched around his, but he didn’t mind. And now these feelings are like nothing I’ve ever felt, and yes, im so scared but I know that he’ll be right by my side. Through thick and through thin, the smile and the tears, the good and the bad, he’ll be right behind me to catch me if I should fall. He understands who I am and why im like that and yet he doesn’t try to change me. He knows everything about me, my flaws and my mistakes yet he loves me all the same. He knows that I make the wrong decisions and some days nothing goes right yet he knows when to just sit and listen rather than trying to fix it. He gives me the strength to sometimes fight it on my own, but if things should get too much, he’s my back up.
He was like the chocolate sauce on my ice cream when first met, the extra bit that made it worthwhile. But now he’s more like the water that I drink, its not that I think he’s any less special than when I first met him, but it’s like I can’t survive without him now. He’s the air that I breathe each day, yet he’s still the sun when it breaks through the clouds.
We have our days you know, the days when things are going so well. When you just want to turn over and go back to sleep instead of getting up and facing them. The days when neither of you can say anything right at the right time yet you still blame each other. But that’s what love is, isn’t it? You get up and you still love that one person that day even if you don’t feel like liking them. Its when you’d apologise no matter who was wrong if it meant that it would bring them back to you, its putting your pride on the shelf, pushing yourself aside because for that while, their happiness is more important than yours. Their happiness is more important than yours, even if it doesn’t involve you anymore.
So here’s to teenage romance, and not knowing why it can hurt likes hell but feel like heaven. Here’s to the reason y you keep going each day, the reason you live, here’s to the moments when you can’t quite believe he’s yours, and here’s to him.